Things I dislike

2008-12-21T05:53:00.001-08:00

If you know me, you know I hate things. But sometimes people ask me, "Kevin, what do you hate? Could you possibly put together a bullet point list with a rating from one to ten of how much you hate things, one being "not much," ten being "with the passion of a thousand burning suns?" Lucky for you, my hatred of making lists is only about a 2.

- Animals in clothing (7.5). This is a tough one for me because this means I have to loathe a member of my own family. This hatred originated about 4 years ago when I saw my brother's dog wearing a coat. Anyone who disagrees with me on this point needs to know one important factor. My brother had an American Eskimo. ESKIMO: which directly translated from Inuit means "built for really fucking cold weather." And sure his little red hoodie may have looked cute to on-lookers and passersby, but to me it was an embarrassment. Don't get me wrong. If you have a greyhound, or short-haired dog and they need a coat to keep their balls from freezing, fine. Just don't expect me to like the dog, or respect the owner, for that matter.

- Long Islanders (5). This is another touchy subject because I know a lot of Long Islanders. On the plus side, they already know that I don't particularly care for them, so that makes that conversation a little less uncomfortable. Here's my main beef with Long Islanders. We understand that New York has delicious pizza, we get that your bagels are scrumptious. What we can't figure out is if New York is so great, why do you keep moving down here?

- Female public speakers (5). It's a fact that men's voices are easier to listen to then women's... sorry, but like I said, fact.

- Inaccurate sports portrayal in movies or TV (7). If asked to make a pet peeve list with my top 5 entries, this would definitely crack the list. Here is the reason: people are going recognize that something is amiss. I understand that sometimes in movies and television we are asked to suspend our reality, but here is the problem with this. In sports there is a defined set of rules. Everyone is aware of these rules. When these rules are not followed, recourse is taken. The problem is in movies, rules are bent and stretched to fit the demands of the script. Can we blame Gordon Bombay for missing that penalty shot and ultimately costing his District 7 Hawks the championship? No, we cannot pin this on him entirely. It's not his fault that time mysteriously runs during his missed last second penalty shot of the championship game forcing an overtime period.

- Bush Supporters (10). If you voted for the guy the first time, great, thanks for participating in our democratic process. If you voted for the guy a second time, whatever, it's a free country. But, seriously, there's less than a month left, would you please give it up?

-Bush Supporters (9.5). It’s 2008, not 1973.

- YouTube links (5.5). I don't have anything against YouTube, per se. My main issue here is that I have had 26 years to perfect the art of time-wasting. If I have 2 minutes of free time, believe you me, I don't need a YouTube link to bide my time. Besides, to adapt a well-known expression "What's funny to some may not be funny to everyone?" That's kind of how I feel about YouTube.

These are just a few things that I dislike. It’s just the tip of the iceberg. If you read this and say "that's odd, Kevin left such and such off the list," I will just say, stop telling me what to do. God, I hate that.

Unbelievable! Really! GOD!

Things I dislike